Sophie Sweet is a game programmer who adores three things: writing code; Doritos Surprise, the one thing she can cook; and her ride-or-die BFF Jodie Edwards. And only those three. To Sophie, people are a lousy bunch of jackasses who lie and leave when you need them most, so why bother? That goes double for "love," a ridiculous fairy tale sold to women to keep them subjugated and cooking things besides Doritos Surprise, which is madness. Sophie and Jodie have a tradition of getting their fortunes read at the carnival, but this year there's a new surprise in town-Tiffani the Psychic. The bubbly psychic can see through Sophie's tough-girl veneer to her squishy, hurt center. Tiffani tells Sophie she'll prove that everlasting passion exists for everyone! Sophie tells Tiffani to screw off.

Big mistake. Huge.

Oh, yes-romance, and Tiffani, are coming for Sophie Sweet, whether she likes it or not. And she will Not. Like. It. Tiffani is an unstoppable force, and Sophie, an immovable object who cusses a lot. But Tiffani will prove to Sophie that love can heal her wounds. And it's right in front of her oblivious face. The next day, Sophie wakes up to bad haircuts and braces, for she has landed in a bona-fide romantic comedy. Jodie is there, co-starring in the high school hijinks, but doesn't seem to understand that reality has upended itself. Has Sophie lost her mind? Maybe. Because the following day, Sophie opens her eyes to a new rom-com: royalty, castles, snarky queen. Starring her as the clumsy princess, of course. In fact, each sunrise, Tiffani conjures a new Bridget Jones-y variant for the unenthused "heroine." Sophie is even more convinced that happily-ever-after is only for Hallmark and hand grenades. Her only constant is Jodie, being her magnificent, ride-or-die self through all the iterations of hell. How many torturous scenarios must Sophie endure until she realizes that pure, true love does exist? It exists in Jodie. Maybe Tiffani the Psychic is a freaking genius.